Current: 02/26/2026. Written: 09/16/2024
I thought I would explain the collage on my home page. This is almost a year and a half after my auto transplant and about a month before I found out I relapsed.
It is a “soul collage”. You journal from the card’s perspective. “Who are you?” “What do you give me?” etc.
Unresolved Trauma: Who are you? I am the one who went through something unimaginable. I don’t remember crying during any of it. I used to think that was a strength. I think I knew I couldn’t be weak at my very weakest.
Most of the images are hazy… like a dream or underwater.
Everything feels a little upside down. The music notes are upside down. Even things I used to love–like music–don’t feel the same.
Snow: I remember one day it was flurrying. I was so sick, but the snow on the branches felt peaceful. Statue saying “shh,” “don’t let anyone know my secrets.” “Poison”-red devil = life-saving treatment. Cracked statue: That’s how I feel–Cracked.
Where am I now?
It isn’t all terrible. I can look back at this now and see how far I’ve come.
I wish I could go back and sit with that version of me. Just to say– “You’re to make it through this.”
What do you give me?
Acceptance. I am trying to accept what I went through and who I am now.
Do you ever wish you could encourage a past version of yourself? That’s where I am now. Angie