I made these little houses about 6 weeks ago. I took a free class, and this was a technique using either tissue paper or, in my case, “tea bag” paper. I made the different colored paper that eventually became the houses. I applied paint to a gelli plate and then put the paper down and drew up the paint from the plate. I did this multiple times and then made these little houses. I completed the scene with some rocks and grass, as I did in a previous drawing.
There’s nothing remarkable about this piece. I just really felt like posting and getting some of my feelings out. I am feeling really bad about myself. I have been through so much, and sometimes it makes me sad. I’m sad for all the pressure I put on my family and friends. And there’s nothing I can do about it. It makes me feel like a bad mom, really, when it comes to Emma. We should have found another way to get a caregiver. It was too much on her.
This is one thing that people don’t understand. Everyone says you need to accept help, but I know firsthand it makes you feel guilty. It really does. You are so helpless, and there’s nothing you can do but accept help. But it comes with a price.
I am officially rambling, but it feels good to put words on “paper”.
Sometimes I wish I could get away from everything and everyone for just a bit, like get away to this fictitional/fantasy land. I would, of course, bring Lucy and maybe a couple of other puppy friends.
I went back through my notes from my therapy sessions. These are the ones that rang out to me.
- My job is to protect my peace.
- My days are precious.
- What are you doing during “the dash”?
- I have already done harder things than anything on my to-do list.
I guess that’s everything for now. I feel a little better. I’ll let you know when I come back from my trip to Fantasy Land 🥳
Angie